Not Getting Organized

I'm trying here to give a balanced picture of dad.

I've been going through some of his papers (the notebooks above his easel mainly). Some have had wonderful things in them, but there were a couple of notebooks that made me sad.

I'm reading between the lines here, but in them dad struggled for years--decades--to get himself organized.  He sought the Holy Grail of organization from books, magazine articles, audiotapes (mom added that in) and pretty much everything he could find.  But he was spending time and effort on how to get organized, filling out charts, writing down ideas, without ever succeeding.  Dozens of charts would be filled out, but only once.  And while he spent the time on getting organized, he didn't spend the time following up and doing the things that were on the lists he was getting organized to do.

As I know my siblings know, the one thing he just didn't do was exercise.  And in the notebooks every list included exercising as a goal.  I know he was in pain, and I know that he had his own ideas about what exercise could or couldn't do, but it's so sad to read the evidence of a man who had the best of intentions and the strongest of wills for so many other things spending his time on getting organized about exercising, but not able to follow through.  From the way he wrote about it, I know it was eating him up.  I suspect our nagging made him feel guilty far more than it motivated him to complete the goals he'd already set for himself, but on the other hand, we literally had no idea.  At least I didn't.